One day recently Helene K., a 50-year-old occupational therapist, received a call at home from a former patient. It took her several minutes to remember the man, who had been discharged from her clinic more than a year earlier. He said he would like to see her again, but Helene firmly rejected the idea: she wanted no further contact with him. Then came more phone calls from the man, as well as letters declaring his love for her. One morning Helene opened her front door and saw the man standing there, suitcase in hand; he had resigned from his job and wanted to move in with her. Helene demanded that he leave her alone, but instead he began following her everywhere. When Helene changed her phone number and got a restraining order, her tormentor responded with threatening letters. Despite three fines imposed by the court–the last one for more than $6,000–the man continued harassing Helene and her neighbors as well. Not Just Celebrities Society’s familiarity with stalking stems mainly from tragic and highly publicized “celebrity stalking” incidents over the past three decades: John Lennon gunned down outside his New York City home by Mark David Chapman in 1980; actress Rebecca Schaeffer fatally shot by obsessed fan Robert Bardo in 1989; tennis star Monica Seles stabbed during a Hamburg tennis match by a deranged SteffiGraf fan in 1993. More recent (and nonviolent) celebrity stalker cases have involved Madonna, Brad Pitt, David Letterman, Steven Spielberg, Linda Ronstadt and Ashley Judd. Unfortunately, the publicity surrounding celebrity stalking has tended to distract us from its surprisingly high prevalence in the general population. For every Linda Ronstadt plagued by a stalker, thousands of Helenes are similarly traumatized. In 1998 the National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published Stalking in America, the first ever (and so far only) national survey on stalking and its impact, based on a representative telephone survey of 8,000 U.S. women and 8,000 U.S. men, 18 years and older. (The survey defined stalking as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated visual or physical proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear.”) Among the study’s highlights:
Women–by four to one–are the primary victims of stalkers.
Men are the primary perpetrators of stalking, accounting for 94 percent of the stalkers identified by female victims and 60 percent of the stalkers identified by male victims.
In the U.S., 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some time in their life. Based on U.S. census population estimates, this means that 9.4 million women and 2.3 million men have been stalked.
Most victims know their stalker. Only 23 percent of female stalking victims and 36 percent of male victims were stalked by strangers.
Women tend to be stalked by intimate partners (defined as current or former spouses, cohabitants, boyfriends or girlfriends). Overall, 59 percent of female victims were stalked by an intimate partner, whereas 30 percent of male victims were stalked by an intimate partner.
Nearly one fifth of all victims move to new locations to escape their stalkers.
About two thirds of all stalking cases last a year or less, about a quarter of cases last two to five years, and about a tenth last more than five years.
The Mind of the Stalker What does “stalking” mean? The term comes from the word describing the phase of hunting prior to the kill, in which a predator tracks and approaches its prey, boxing in the quarry and never letting it out of sight. Stalkers not only obsessively monitor their targets but repeatedly accost them as well–through phone calls, e-mails, letters or encounters on the street. Some stalkers also send gifts or more frightening fare, such as a photo collage with the victim’s face replaced by a skull. Stalkers may also order merchandise in their victims’ name or start vicious rumors about them. Bettina M., age 28, had a boyfriend who was extremely controlling and so jealous that he discouraged her from talking to other men. Although Bettina broke up with him after three months, they maintained contact because they worked in the same office. He proceeded to hack into her e-mail account and read her incoming and outgoing messages. He also assailed her with instant messages–some pleasant, some pleading, some threatening. He later logged on to an online forum that she belonged to–and announced to other subscribers that Bettina had committed suicide. When Bettina eventually found a new boyfriend, her stalker followed the couple around and later bombarded them with instant messages describing what he had seen. What drives people to such behavior? Studies show that stalkers typically have experienced failures in life and lack a current intimate partner. They also tend to be unemployed. Not uncommonly, stalkers suffer from mental illness, including major depression and a variety of personality disorders–yet psychosis tends to be confined mainly to celebrity stalkers [see box above]. Stalkers act after being influenced by emotions that may include longing, despair, blame, obsessive love, and anger or vengefulness at being rejected. Between 2002 and 2005 our research team at the Technical University of Darmstadt carried out the first German study of stalkers. We interviewed some 100 currently active stalkers who contacted us anonymously after we placed an ad on the Internet, and we came to an overriding conclusion: our subjects had difficulty accepting reality. Despite their lack of success in winning over or winning back their prey, four out of five stalkers told us that they planned to continue their stalking behavior. Why? The answer given most often was that they felt they were “destined” to be with their victims. One third of our sample said that stalking was their way of breaking down the resistance of those who–in their heart of hearts–surely wanted to be with them as well. Another third said they had an obligation to take care of the ones they loved. Clearly, no matter how often a target rejects a stalker’s approaches, the stalker won’t take no for an answer. Our survey also offered insight into the emotional lives of stalkers, who are often unhappy. More than 60 percent said they suffered from emotional problems, such as depression. A third were being treated by a physician or psychologist for anxiety. And nearly 40 percent of the stalkers we surveyed admitted to being repeat offenders. The Traumatized Victims Between 2002 and 2004 we also interviewed some 550 stalking victims to learn how their ordeal had affected them. Unlike people who experience a single traumatic event, stalking victims typically must deal with their painful situation many times–sometimes every day over the course of years: whenever the phone rings, a victim might immediately think of the stalker. A “normal” life is usually out of the question in such an atmosphere of anxiety and helplessness. Our survey of stalking victims found that the average duration of a stalking case was 28 months, but in one case it had lasted for 30 years. Victims typically felt threatened in three or four places they visited regularly–their favorite bar, their neighborhood supermarket or their health club, for example. But most often, and most chillingly, the stalking occurred at home. Many victims reacted by barricading themselves against intrusion of any kind–keeping their curtains closed, installing home security systems, procuring unlisted phone numbers they would give to just a few people. Not surprisingly, living in a state of siege dramatically affected these people’s social life. Getting together with family and friends was difficult, and problems with partners were common. In addition, one in five stalking victims ended up moving away, and one in 10 resigned from his or her job. Over time, our survey found, most stalking victims are psychologically traumatized by their ordeal. Many were ashamed of being stalked and even blamed themselves for their predicament. Two thirds suffered from emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, panic attacks, difficulty concentrating, and eating and sleeping disorders. In addition, the stress from being stalked had typically caused victims to become more irritable, angry and aggressive than they had been before the stalking began. One in four victims said they had considered suicide or had made an actual suicide attempt. And in most cases, the emotional trauma of being stalked persisted even after the stalking finally ended.Our research has shown that stalkers are able to exert tremendous control over their victims’ life even though physical abuse typically does not occur. In one of five cases, however, we found that the stalker does resort to violence in the form of beatings, armed assaults or even attempted murder. Intimate Past, Violent Future The Stalking in America survey and other studies of stalkers have all reached the same sobering conclusion about violence in stalking: it is most likely when the stalker and victim have had an intimate relationship. Recently researcher and forensic psychologist Kris Mohandie of Operational Consulting International and his colleagues analyzed a nonrandom sample of 1,005 North American stalking cases gathered from prosecutorial agencies, a Canadian police agency and other sources. Their findings, published last year in the Journal of Forensic Sciences, showed that among four categories of stalking studied (that of an acquaintance, a celebrity, a stranger or an intimate partner), personal violence occurred in more than 50 percent of cases in which stalker and victim had been intimate–by far the highest incidence in any category. But stalking of any kind clearly heightens risk of harm: whereas homicide in this study’s total sample was very rare (0.5 percent), stalking victims nonetheless faced at least 50 times the homicide risk of the general population. What should people do if they are being stalked? How not to react may be more important for bringing the stalking to an end. J. Reid Meloy, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, has conducted numerous studies of stalkers. “The worst response for a stalking victim is to initiate direct contact with the threatening person,” wrote Meloy in 2002 in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law. Regardless of the message, he notes that “the act itself becomes an intermittent positive reinforcement and causes a significant increase in pursuit behavior.” He and his colleagues found that among female stalkers, stalking increased in intensity in 68 percent of cases in which victims initiated contact after stalking began. Stalking is a serious societal problem that can result in violence, particularly in situations where stalker and victim have been intimately involved. Even in the absence of violence, stalking can be emotionally traumatic for victims as well as their families and neighbors. Those who feel they are being stalked should promptly ask law enforcement or the courts to intervene. In the years since California became the first state to criminalize stalking in 1990, all 50 states, the District of Columbia and the federal government have followed suit. By aggressively confronting stalkers, the police can deter some of them early in their stalking efforts. Similarly, obtaining a court order against a stalker can serve as a deterrent. For assistance and advice, victims can also call the National Center for Victims of Crime at 800-FYI-CALL.
Then came more phone calls from the man, as well as letters declaring his love for her. One morning Helene opened her front door and saw the man standing there, suitcase in hand; he had resigned from his job and wanted to move in with her. Helene demanded that he leave her alone, but instead he began following her everywhere.
When Helene changed her phone number and got a restraining order, her tormentor responded with threatening letters. Despite three fines imposed by the court–the last one for more than $6,000–the man continued harassing Helene and her neighbors as well.
Not Just Celebrities Society’s familiarity with stalking stems mainly from tragic and highly publicized “celebrity stalking” incidents over the past three decades: John Lennon gunned down outside his New York City home by Mark David Chapman in 1980; actress Rebecca Schaeffer fatally shot by obsessed fan Robert Bardo in 1989; tennis star Monica Seles stabbed during a Hamburg tennis match by a deranged SteffiGraf fan in 1993. More recent (and nonviolent) celebrity stalker cases have involved Madonna, Brad Pitt, David Letterman, Steven Spielberg, Linda Ronstadt and Ashley Judd.
Unfortunately, the publicity surrounding celebrity stalking has tended to distract us from its surprisingly high prevalence in the general population. For every Linda Ronstadt plagued by a stalker, thousands of Helenes are similarly traumatized.
In 1998 the National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention published Stalking in America, the first ever (and so far only) national survey on stalking and its impact, based on a representative telephone survey of 8,000 U.S. women and 8,000 U.S. men, 18 years and older. (The survey defined stalking as “a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated visual or physical proximity, nonconsensual communication, or verbal, written or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear.”)
Among the study’s highlights:
Women–by four to one–are the primary victims of stalkers.
Men are the primary perpetrators of stalking, accounting for 94 percent of the stalkers identified by female victims and 60 percent of the stalkers identified by male victims.
In the U.S., 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some time in their life. Based on U.S. census population estimates, this means that 9.4 million women and 2.3 million men have been stalked.
Most victims know their stalker. Only 23 percent of female stalking victims and 36 percent of male victims were stalked by strangers.
Women tend to be stalked by intimate partners (defined as current or former spouses, cohabitants, boyfriends or girlfriends). Overall, 59 percent of female victims were stalked by an intimate partner, whereas 30 percent of male victims were stalked by an intimate partner.
Nearly one fifth of all victims move to new locations to escape their stalkers.
About two thirds of all stalking cases last a year or less, about a quarter of cases last two to five years, and about a tenth last more than five years.
The Mind of the Stalker What does “stalking” mean? The term comes from the word describing the phase of hunting prior to the kill, in which a predator tracks and approaches its prey, boxing in the quarry and never letting it out of sight. Stalkers not only obsessively monitor their targets but repeatedly accost them as well–through phone calls, e-mails, letters or encounters on the street. Some stalkers also send gifts or more frightening fare, such as a photo collage with the victim’s face replaced by a skull. Stalkers may also order merchandise in their victims’ name or start vicious rumors about them.
Bettina M., age 28, had a boyfriend who was extremely controlling and so jealous that he discouraged her from talking to other men. Although Bettina broke up with him after three months, they maintained contact because they worked in the same office. He proceeded to hack into her e-mail account and read her incoming and outgoing messages.
He also assailed her with instant messages–some pleasant, some pleading, some threatening. He later logged on to an online forum that she belonged to–and announced to other subscribers that Bettina had committed suicide. When Bettina eventually found a new boyfriend, her stalker followed the couple around and later bombarded them with instant messages describing what he had seen.
What drives people to such behavior? Studies show that stalkers typically have experienced failures in life and lack a current intimate partner. They also tend to be unemployed. Not uncommonly, stalkers suffer from mental illness, including major depression and a variety of personality disorders–yet psychosis tends to be confined mainly to celebrity stalkers [see box above]. Stalkers act after being influenced by emotions that may include longing, despair, blame, obsessive love, and anger or vengefulness at being rejected.
Between 2002 and 2005 our research team at the Technical University of Darmstadt carried out the first German study of stalkers. We interviewed some 100 currently active stalkers who contacted us anonymously after we placed an ad on the Internet, and we came to an overriding conclusion: our subjects had difficulty accepting reality.
Despite their lack of success in winning over or winning back their prey, four out of five stalkers told us that they planned to continue their stalking behavior. Why? The answer given most often was that they felt they were “destined” to be with their victims. One third of our sample said that stalking was their way of breaking down the resistance of those who–in their heart of hearts–surely wanted to be with them as well. Another third said they had an obligation to take care of the ones they loved. Clearly, no matter how often a target rejects a stalker’s approaches, the stalker won’t take no for an answer.
Our survey also offered insight into the emotional lives of stalkers, who are often unhappy. More than 60 percent said they suffered from emotional problems, such as depression. A third were being treated by a physician or psychologist for anxiety. And nearly 40 percent of the stalkers we surveyed admitted to being repeat offenders.
The Traumatized Victims Between 2002 and 2004 we also interviewed some 550 stalking victims to learn how their ordeal had affected them. Unlike people who experience a single traumatic event, stalking victims typically must deal with their painful situation many times–sometimes every day over the course of years: whenever the phone rings, a victim might immediately think of the stalker. A “normal” life is usually out of the question in such an atmosphere of anxiety and helplessness.
Our survey of stalking victims found that the average duration of a stalking case was 28 months, but in one case it had lasted for 30 years. Victims typically felt threatened in three or four places they visited regularly–their favorite bar, their neighborhood supermarket or their health club, for example. But most often, and most chillingly, the stalking occurred at home.
Many victims reacted by barricading themselves against intrusion of any kind–keeping their curtains closed, installing home security systems, procuring unlisted phone numbers they would give to just a few people. Not surprisingly, living in a state of siege dramatically affected these people’s social life. Getting together with family and friends was difficult, and problems with partners were common. In addition, one in five stalking victims ended up moving away, and one in 10 resigned from his or her job.
Over time, our survey found, most stalking victims are psychologically traumatized by their ordeal. Many were ashamed of being stalked and even blamed themselves for their predicament. Two thirds suffered from emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, panic attacks, difficulty concentrating, and eating and sleeping disorders. In addition, the stress from being stalked had typically caused victims to become more irritable, angry and aggressive than they had been before the stalking began. One in four victims said they had considered suicide or had made an actual suicide attempt. And in most cases, the emotional trauma of being stalked persisted even after the stalking finally ended.Our research has shown that stalkers are able to exert tremendous control over their victims’ life even though physical abuse typically does not occur. In one of five cases, however, we found that the stalker does resort to violence in the form of beatings, armed assaults or even attempted murder.
Intimate Past, Violent Future The Stalking in America survey and other studies of stalkers have all reached the same sobering conclusion about violence in stalking: it is most likely when the stalker and victim have had an intimate relationship. Recently researcher and forensic psychologist Kris Mohandie of Operational Consulting International and his colleagues analyzed a nonrandom sample of 1,005 North American stalking cases gathered from prosecutorial agencies, a Canadian police agency and other sources.
Their findings, published last year in the Journal of Forensic Sciences, showed that among four categories of stalking studied (that of an acquaintance, a celebrity, a stranger or an intimate partner), personal violence occurred in more than 50 percent of cases in which stalker and victim had been intimate–by far the highest incidence in any category. But stalking of any kind clearly heightens risk of harm: whereas homicide in this study’s total sample was very rare (0.5 percent), stalking victims nonetheless faced at least 50 times the homicide risk of the general population.
What should people do if they are being stalked? How not to react may be more important for bringing the stalking to an end.
J. Reid Meloy, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, has conducted numerous studies of stalkers. “The worst response for a stalking victim is to initiate direct contact with the threatening person,” wrote Meloy in 2002 in the Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law. Regardless of the message, he notes that “the act itself becomes an intermittent positive reinforcement and causes a significant increase in pursuit behavior.” He and his colleagues found that among female stalkers, stalking increased in intensity in 68 percent of cases in which victims initiated contact after stalking began.
Stalking is a serious societal problem that can result in violence, particularly in situations where stalker and victim have been intimately involved. Even in the absence of violence, stalking can be emotionally traumatic for victims as well as their families and neighbors. Those who feel they are being stalked should promptly ask law enforcement or the courts to intervene.
In the years since California became the first state to criminalize stalking in 1990, all 50 states, the District of Columbia and the federal government have followed suit. By aggressively confronting stalkers, the police can deter some of them early in their stalking efforts. Similarly, obtaining a court order against a stalker can serve as a deterrent. For assistance and advice, victims can also call the National Center for Victims of Crime at 800-FYI-CALL.
